fishing for a compliment

When I worked in the corporate world, at the beginning of each fiscal year, employees and their managers would review some of the successes and challenges of the previous year as a guide to help determine their career objectives for the upcoming one.

Many of my coworkers really dreaded the employee review process.  For some, including myself, I already had intimate knowledge of my challenges, and with deadlines to meet, I didn't have time for compliments and another "pat on the back"!  However, many of my former employees only wanted to hear compliments...and were anxious about any scrutiny or criticism.

Earlier this month, mid-term exams for the older grades were held at my children's school.  My son asked why it was necessary to have exams.  I explained that exams serve to encapsulate the overall understanding of a subject, unlike tests that reflect specific points in time of the learning process. It was also to prepare the students for the process of high school, and this was just a way to help them grow towards that goal.

He thought about my answer for a while and was satisfied that there was nothing for him to worry about.  In our house, we have always emphasized that it's NOT just about the number score on the test that's important, but it's application of that learning.  In other words, what did that test tell us?  If everyone did poorly on the test, maybe it speaks not just about the difficulty of the subject matter, but the way the subject matter was taught. However, if only a handful of kids didn't do well on the test, then it speaks more about their study habits or that maybe their learning styles didn't match the teaching techniques.  For us, tests have always sparked the conversation to create solutions to improve study habits or finding different teaching methodologies.

I think I wouldn't have had this perspective at home if I didn't have it professionally.  I have always learned valuable lessons when I took a hard look at criticism; how it's presented and it's context within the work environment.  It also helped me evaluate not just my own abilities, but those that reported to me, and those that I reported to.  "Work to hear feedback as potentially valuable advice from a fresh perspective rather than as an indictment of how you’ve done things in the past." (source: Harvard Business Review's " Find the Coaching in Criticism")

Although logistically the process of reviews, tests and exams can sometimes take up a large block of time, the results are invaluable and should really be thought of as stepping stones towards gaining confidence of truly knowing yourself, and understanding that you can still progress towards your goals despite any perceived "weaknesses".   I hope my own children will continue to learn, explore and see value in these "tests"...and hope they seek understanding and guidance instead of fishing for compliments.

Food for thought.

Smoked Salmon and Cucumber Hors d'oeuvres

(serves about 6 people)

Ingredients:

• 1 large english cucumber
• 1 cup cream cheese (approximate)
• Smoked salmon

Directions:

• Slice cucumber.
• Spread 1 tsp. of cream cheese (or more, to taste...I've also used herbed cream cheese).
• Slice the salmon in long strips.
• Roll the salmon, and place on top of each cucumber slice.

Serve.

having a ball

As we start to begin what is known to our family as "party season" with birthdays and Thanksgiving, it's a time of year where it's easy to get caught up with the preparation of guests, food, gifts...and lose sight of how special this time of year really is.

Since one child is going on a school camping trip smack dab in the middle of all these parties, it's just one more thing to pack, organize and be prepared for.  With so much going on, I was hoping I'd take a more simpler route this year and just book a pre-packaged party.  But as I begin booking venues, I realize sometimes what appears to be simple isn't really that simple after all.  One venue only accepted complicated online reservations and couldn't guarantee a party room until mere days before the event.  Another venue  couldn't guarantee there would be a place to store gifts while the children are enjoying the venue's activities (so I'd have to shuttle gifts to the car before they played!). What a circus!

Maybe I'm worried what really will be missing, is the element of the personal touch.  Because at the end of the day, I just want to create happy, memorable moments, and I hope it doesn't get lost in the busyness of logistics.

I suspect that I feel this way because I am watching my older child go off independently on a camping trip, and part of me misses that time when they were really young.  An age before they were old enough to dress themselves.  An age when they had sweet little birthdays with a few select friends and family were invited to eat cake, do a small craft or activity, and enjoy opening presents.  A time that seemed slower, where I  actually got to capture little moments.

As the kids get bigger, maybe I just need to be faster to catch up with them. With all the giggling, smiles and "It was the best trip EVER!" or "I had the loudest, most outrageously awesome birthday party ever!"...I will capture a different, more bigger moment.  When they'll still enjoying being a kid and the world seems like one big circus...and they're just having a ball.

Quick Party Cheese Ball

Ingredients

• 1 cup (8 ounces) Cream Cheese
• ¼ cups Sour Cream
• 1 cup Finely Shredded Cheddar Cheese
• ¼ cups grated Parmesan Cheese
• ¼ cups Finely Chopped shallot (or red onion)
• ½ teaspoon Garlic Powder
• 1 teaspoon Lemon Juice
• ¼ teaspoons Freshly Ground Black Pepper

Directions

• Place all ingredients in a large bowl. 
• Beat with a hand mixer on medium-low speed until well combined.
• Scrape the mixture onto a piece of plastic wrap. Cover with the plastic wrap and shape into a ball or log. 
• Put the cheese ball on a plate and place in the refrigerator to harden, at least 30 minutes (it's best if it is 1 hour).

Place on a serving plate. Allow to sit for approximately 15 minutes before serving.  Serve with crackers.

take a dip

Sometimes I believe with all the logistics of managing a household and balancing work and play, that the play part can be easily forgotten.

I have to admit that I sometimes forget that my kids are kids, and that they too have their own personal anxieties ...little "worries" that may seem minuscule on the grand scheme of things to adults, but are real and large to little ones.  Worries like thinking friends will forget them because they haven't seen each other since the end of school...or getting braces before they go back.  Despite all the thrilling summer activities, children too, need some balance from all the noise...a little quiet time to reflect.  

No matter how difficult it is to watch them during their brief moments of anxiety, as a parent I need to remind myself to just let them ride the big waves, and to reassure that a few months from now, their "worries" will just be small ripples in the water.

We continued our summer's "no-schedule" schedule, and just let the sunshine guide us to the calming water...and let it determine if we'll take a huge courageous dive off the pier....

...or just calmly wade in the water.

Drawn to the water for most of our family getaway, we were finally able to get some much needed rest and relaxation, to have fun diving or surfing the waves...or just reflecting on moments of peace and quiet as we dipped our toes in the water.

Easy Fruit Dip

Ingredients

• 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping
• 1 (8 ounce) container Strawberry Banana yogurt (or any flavour of your choosing)

Directions:

• In a medium bowl, gently mix the whipped topping and yogurt until just blended.
• Chill in the refrigerator 30 minutes before serving.

contain me

One of the best things about a summer schedule is that there is no schedule.  Random late nights, sleeping in and spur-of-the-moment picnics at the beach gives us summer relief from all the rigid demands of class assignments, school fundraisers and other activities throughout the school year.

But now that our house flood has instigated an unplanned renovation schedule, we're trying to contain our daily activities to limited areas of the house (with limited access to dishes, party bowls and other summer needs that are packed in storage) while trying to maneuver the ebb and flow of contractors and building materials...all while maintaining the summer enjoyment of "non-scheduled" family activities.  Understandably, this has presented a new list of demands that has stalled our "non-scheduled-schedule". 

I guess this summer we really have to take "go with the flow" to heart and more than ever I will need to balance my children's need to go out and explore, while preparing a house and being accessible to renovators who need decisions on material choices.

We'll just go with the flow and use paper plates instead of my pretty summer patio dishes. We'll just have go to the ice cream parlour for lunch when there's too many people in the house to cook.   In between choosing flooring and paint colours, we'll try not to be too contained and just hop in the car or bikes and go....

...and just let the sunshine lead us to the end of the dock so we can dive right into summer.

 Fruit Containers

One of the easiest things to add a little "umph" to a party table setting or picnic, is to create one special display item. If you don't own party bowls (or like me, have little access to them),  these fruit "containers" helps set the tone for casual entertainment or makes the perfect hostess dish to bring for a summer soiree.  They're easy to make (usually you just have to hollow out the fruit), and there's less dishes to do (bonus!).

Above picture: My kids loved making the little dragon fruit ice cream bowls (just cut in half, then hollow out by eating the contents!).  Below picture: For a recent party, I had to bring a fruit salad and used the watermelon as a "basket".  I took a paring knife and just created "v" shapes, to make a pretty edge.

Enjoy!

april showers

We promised our daughter that we'd get a family dog.  Now that our March Break travels and Easter family gatherings are now behind us, and warm weather and budding flowers are ahead of us, we've re-ignited the search to find the right dog to join our family.

I'd often hear dog owners warn me about how puppies are just like babies.  Waking up in the middle of the night.  Potty training.  How travel and extra curricular activities are limited because of the dog's schedule.  To be honest, this has been our biggest deterrent.  But with our daughter's big brown eyes and perfectly curled pout, we have succumbed to her wishes and are edging much closer to getting a new four-pawed member of the family.

As I start browsing for dog necessities (dog beds, crates etc), I start to recollect the time when I was preparing for our two beautiful children.  Researching for all the "gear" to add to our baby shower gift registry.  However, when our babies were born, I soon realized that all the baby "stuff" doesn't really prepare you for journey that follows.

During my pregnancy, we'd also often wonder what our children would be like.  Would they have the eyes of Mom or the nose of Dad? Would they be athletic or academic?  Would they be happy and kind or obnoxious little bullies?  It is one of the many curiosities of being a parent....we'd look for little clues sometimes as signs of reassurance that our kids inherited our positive traits. That they'd be a reflection of the good in us, not the bad.

Now that we're in anticipation for a new dog, I finding myself now wondering the same thing again.  If a dog barks and runs like a maniac at the park, is that a reflection of the owner or is it a reflection of the individual personality (and breed) of the dog?  Would the dog adopt some of our personalities, or would it's carefree nature force us to be more playful? Will we then, become a reflection of our dog?

I guess time will tell, much like raising children.  When someone says they see "a lot of me" in my kids, although some of it may ring true, deep down I think it's the other way around.  With their determination, enthusiasm and charisma, I think my children have made me become more outgoing, more accepting, more loving (although maybe not as patient?)...and I have become a reflection of them.

We'll continue to research and plan as much as we can to prepare for our new furry arrival.  Then we'll  let nature take it's course and welcome our dog with open arms, and I'm positive our children will shower their "baby" dog with everlasting joy and love.

And with his/her loyal, unconditional love and happy-go-lucky-tail-wagging nature, I hope that our puppy too, will be a reflection of our family.

Baby Shower Cupcakes

I like making these simple cupcakes for baby showers.  It's not overwhelmingly sweet, and you don't need to be an expert to decorate them.  It fits most themes and is non-gender specific.


INGREDIENTS:

• 1/2 cup of butter
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 cup milk

DIRECTIONS:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees 
• Line a muffin pan with paper liners.
• Cream the sugar and butter together.
• Add the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. 
• Add the baking powder, then add the flour until the well mixed.
• Slowly stir in the milk until the batter is smooth. 
• Soon approximately 1/3 of a cup of batter into each of the muffin liners. 
• Bake for 20 to 25 minutes. (done when it springs back).
• Completely cool before frosting.

For the Buttercream Frosting & "Baby" icing design


INGREDIENTS:

• 1/2 cup butter 
• 1/2 cup shortening (I use Crisco)
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 5 cups confectioners' sugar
• 1/4 cup milk
• Cocoa powder (for the eyes and mouth)
• Mint Lifesavers

DIRECTIONS:

• Cream the butter and shortening until light and fluffy. 
• Add salt, vanilla, confectioners' sugar and milk. 
• Beat well.
• Reserve 1 cup of frosting, and add cocoa powder until the frosting is chocolate in colour.
• Lightly frost the cupcakes

• Using a piping bag (or a zip lock bag with cutting a small corner of the bag), place the chocolate frosting and add the semi circles for sleeping eyes and a smile.

• Add the lifesaver as the baby soother.

Enjoy!