a sweet deal

As parents, sometimes I'm not quite sure whether the every day things we do for our kids are appreciated or taken for granted.  The little things that sometimes even adults don't notice. Clean, folded clothes.  Warm healthy meals.  A long ride in the snow to a friends house.  Helping with homework.  And sometimes in the midst of folding five baskets of laundry, I often ask...what kind of deal did I make?

Well, this past weekend, after a long (and somewhat frustrating) afternoon helping my daughter assemble her animal project for her class presentation, she disappeared into the kitchen.  When she came back she said:

"Thanks Mom.  You worked hard. I want you to have this".  It was a butterscotch lollipop.

For most people, this would be thought of as a sweet, fair exchange coming from a little girl.  But I thought it was even sweeter given the circumstances surrounding that lollipop.  You see, earlier that morning, her brother wanted to borrow her game console to bring to a friends house to play, and negotiated a deal to go to the store with her and BUY her any candy she wanted with his allowance that week.  Because we don't allow candy except for special occasions (and we just had Valentine's Day a few weeks ago!), she jumped at the opportunity, and he bought her a special variety pack of Laura Secord lollipops.

When we brought those lollipops home, I briefly mentioned to her that I used to love that particular kind of candy when I was a little girl, and I had to work hard and save my allowance to go to the candy store to get one.  And just like my daughter, butterscotch was one of my favourites.  We put the lollipops on the kitchen counter, and she was instructed that she was only allowed to have one on the condition that she complete the assembly of her animal project.  Five hours of typing, cutting, pasting, printing, gluing...we were both getting tired and frustrated.  With the lollipops sitting on the counter, her tempted and anxious glances towards those coveted treats were often times a distraction with the task at hand ("just ONE lollipop now, Mom?).  Much to my dismay.

When her brother came home, he thanked her again for letting him use her game console.  He told her that he wanted to make his "deal" even sweeter for her, and earned extra points on one of her games on her behalf (sorry, I'm not up to game lingo...something about diamonds?),  and she smiled with glee.  Both kids were happy and it was a very sweet moment between them.

So after she finally completed her presentation, she ran into the kitchen and I could hear her tearing the wrapper apart to get at the sweet prize.  Finally!  But before getting a lollipop for herself, she came up to me and gave me the one and only butterscotch flavour from the pack.  And I could see the sweetest look in her eyes...she was grateful for my help.  It made the five hours of cutting, pasting and glue in my hair all worthwhile.

If you were to ask me...are those fleeting, brief moments of pure joy from our kids...that smile, a hug or just "that look" worth the daily parenting struggles, frustrations and cumbersome tasks of managing a household?

Yes.  Yes it is.  I think parents have the sweetest deal ever.

Chocolate Caramel Trifle with Almond Whipped Cream

(serves 8-12)

I usually like to bake brownies in mini muffin tins so they look like those two-bite brownies that you buy at the market, and is easier to pack in lunches (instead of trying to cut them into squares...which can be a little messy!).  Unfortunately I baked the brownies too long, and they became hard as rock.  Instead of throwing them out, I used them in this trifle recipe instead.  What started as a sweet treat became an even sweeter treat!

INGREDIENTS:

• 1- 8x8 pan of brownies (or about 20 two-bite brownies)

Pudding layer:

• 2 cups of chocolate pudding (I used the Belsoy Organic pudding, but any pudding would do).
• 1/4 cup of milk or sweetened condensed milk.

Whipping cream layer

• 1 (8 ounce) container of heavy cream (for whipping)
• 2 tbsp. powdered sugar
• 1 tsp. of almond extract

Caramel sauce layer

• 1/4 cup butter
• 1/2 cup of sugar (you can use icing or brown...I had icing on hand)
• 1/2 cup heavy cream (I used homogenized milk...which works too!).

DIRECTIONS:

• Prepare brownie mix according to package directions and cool completely. 
• While the brownies are cooling, make the other layers.

For the Caramel sauce:

• Melt the butter in a pot over medium heat.
• Stir in sugar until it is melted and turns to a caramel colour.  Slowly stir in the cream or milk (it will bubble up!) and continuing stirring until it's has a sauce-like consistency.
• Remove from heat.

For the pudding:

• Mix the chocolate pudding in a bowl with 1/4 cup of milk or sweetened condensed milk until slightly runny in texture.

For the almond whipping cream:

• In a mixing bowl, mix the cream, sugar and the almond extract, on high until fluffy.

Now for the layers:

• Cut the brownies into 1 inch chunks, and layer half of the amount at the bottom of a trifle or glass serving bowl.
• Pour half of the caramel sauce on top of the brownies.
• Pour half of the pudding mixture on top of the caramel covered brownies.
• Top with half of the almond whipping cream.
• Repeat layers.

If desired, shave chocolate onto top layer for garnish. Refrigerate 8 hours before serving.  Enjoy this decadent and oh so sweet treat!

being reliable

Sometimes I struggle with the notion that as a Mom, my world revolves around my kids.  So of course, my world gets rocked when something either positive or negative is done or said towards my kids, like teasing or bullying, or comments on how beautiful and happy they look.

Last Sunday, I was listening to someone speak about how our world views are sometimes shaped based on experiences and impressions at a young age.

He then asked, when you do something that's either out of the ordinary or out of your comfort zone, what voices do you hear in your heads?  Do you hear your parents tell you to "proceed with caution"?  Do you hear your friends say "go for it"?  Or do you imagine that judgemental person in your life shaking their head in disapproval?  When we hear these voices, do we rebel against it like stubborn warriors with a purpose and something to prove?  Or do we come to a realization that sometimes maybe the truth does hurt a little.

It then struck me.   When my kids grow up...what voices will they hear?  What will we say or do that will contribute to their own paranoias, fears or even joy and happiness?  Will they always hear their nagging mother tell them to go to bed early because"the early bird gets the worm"?  Will they resent the story told to them that "eating past 8pm will give you nightmares at night"?  Or will they always know that no matter what, even if it's their mother's favourite chocolate, that when there are only three chocolates left, each of them get exactly one...and a half.  Or that no matter what time it is in the night (like 2am!), I will answer that phone call, get dressed and drive 30 minutes in the cold weather because you didn't feel comfortable at that sleepover party.

I'm not sure what kind of impression we as parents will have on our kids.  I guess all I can hope is that they will always feel secure and happy knowing that their parents love them both very much, and can always rely on us to always be there for them, no matter what.

Herb Roasted Pork

This roast is as reliable as it is tasty. It can be altered with more or less spices to taste, and is often a family staple especially on cold winter nights.

Ingredients:

• 1 teaspoon rubbed sage
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• 1 (5 pound) boneless pork loin

Glaze:

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon cornstarch
• 1/4 cup vinegar
• 1/4 cup water
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees F 
• In a bowl, combine sage, salt, pepper, and garlic. Rub thoroughly all over pork. Place pork in an uncovered roasting pan on the middle oven rack.
• Bake in the preheated oven approximately 1 1/2 hours, or until the internal temperature reaches at least 145 degrees F (63 degrees C), depending upon your desired doneness.
• Meanwhile, place sugar, cornstarch, vinegar, water, and soy sauce in a small saucepan. 
• Heat, stirring occasionally, until mixture begins to bubble and thicken slightly. 
• Brush roast with glaze 3 or 4 times during the last 1/2 hour of cooking. 
• Pour remaining glaze over roast, and serve.

Enjoy this comforting dish.

traditional love

As I watch my children grow and mature into precarious individuals with thought provoking questions about people and history, I start to appreciate more and more, the various traditions we had growing up.  The traditions which shaped the history and memories of our family.

My childhood was filled with celebrations of both Chinese and Western traditions....on New Year's Eve, we would dress up and go to parties with friends, enjoying the spirits while counting down the clock to midnight.  A few months later (depending on the lunar calendar), we would celebrate Chinese New Year, enjoying a traditional feast of fish, vegetables and noodles.

My parents were very good at balancing both the traditions they grew up with, along with new ones they adapted when they moved to this country, so my brother and I would have a great understanding of both cultures.  It was their way of keeping a tie to the past while creating new traditions for the future.

This past Sunday, we celebrated Chinese New Year with my brother and parents, and I love that my children get to experience some of the same traditions I had growing up.  I often wonder if their love for seafood stems from being introduced to fish, lobster and crab at an early age during Chinese New Year. And with tomorrow being Valentine's Day, the kids will equally enjoy all the love notes, classroom cards and chocolate that go with that tradition (and I wonder if their love for chocolate stemmed from this tradition!).

While thinking of a dessert to bring for Chinese New Year, I wanted to ensure that it met the requirements of being sweet, round and/or gold (bringing something sweet is often viewed as a wish that someone will have a sweet future, round in shape symbolizes giving someone a fulfilling and complete life and gold is the colour of luck and lavishness).  However, with Valentine's Day shortly thereafter, I didn't necessarily want to bake again, so I wanted something that could potentially work double duty (if we had any left over!) as a Valentine's Day treat.

These Chinese egg tarts were not only the dessert to bring on Sunday (Sweet, check! Round, check! Somewhat golden in colour, check!), ironically, it is also a dessert that crosses over to many cultures (it's similar to the English custard tart and the Portuguese egg tart ), which is similar to what we are doing in our household this week...celebrating two very different cultural traditions.

And although these egg tarts aren't exactly the most traditional food when it comes to Chinese New Year or Valentine's Day celebrations, this might be my little way of starting a new tradition.  And at the heart of all these celebrations which helped define who I am is the love and spending time with family.  And it's that celebration of love that I hope my children will grow up and one day, recollect as the most important part of their own family tradition.

Chinese Egg Tarts

Adapted from Allrecipes:

(Makes 24 tarts)

I adapted and used my pie crust recipe for the tart shells (instead of making a sugar cookie/phyllo pastry that the original recipe calls for).  I also varied the egg custard to make it more creamy and sweet.  This recipe is easily adaptable, and the almond extract in the egg custard gives this a special taste.

INGREDIENTS

Crust:

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup butter (or 1/2 vegetable shortening, 1/2 butter)
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup powdered sugar (optional)

Egg Custard

• 1/2-1 cup white sugar (depending on how sweet you like your custard)
• 1/2 cup water
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract or almond extract
• 1 cup evaporated milk

DIRECTIONS:

• Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
• In a medium bowl, mix together the powdered sugar and flour. Cut in the butter/vegetable shortening with a pastry cutter until it is in small crumbs. 
• Slowly add the vanilla and water until the mixture forms a dough. 
• Roll out and cut into circle shapes (I used a cookie cutter...you can just make into balls and press into circle shapes).
• Line a muffin tin with liners, and gently press circles of dough into the liners, so that it covers the the liner and goes up fairly high on the sides.
• Bake the tart shells for about 8 minutes.

In the meantime, make the egg custard.

• Beat the eggs, then add vanilla and milk.  
• Warm the water in a microwavable cup and dissolve sugar into the water.  Add the sugar syrup to the egg mixture.
• Remove partially baked tart shells, and pour 2-4 tbsp. of egg mixture in each tart until filled.
• Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden brown, and the filling is firm (but not too puffy)
• Serve.

Love to all!

stuffed up

We're definitely in the middle of the winter blues.  For the past little while, our family has enjoyed giving each other the common cold.  And since I'm at the end of the chain, through teary eyes, runny noses and raw throats, I am particularly dreaming of warmer temperatures...and beaches.

It's been commonly joked that women can handle pain and illnesses much better than their male counterparts. Sometimes no matter how we feel, we suffer through it as we have to "keep the machine" moving.  Make sure everyone is fed, cleaned, happy.  It doesn't matter if you can't breathe...keep moving, keep working!

The other day, I stumbled upon a funny video of two male television hosts who, for an experiment, decided to find out if giving birth is as painful as women say it is.

{source}

I don't have an answer to the debate of who really handles pain better, but I think the most important thing is to have support around you to help you get through it.  What I found most interesting about the video was, in lieu of having spouses, the two hosts had the nurses to help them work through the pain.  I think we all need that "pain coach"...the one that is there to help, support or just be there to pick up a few chores while you're resting.

And while I may be feeling a little stuffed up right now, with my own "pain coach" (or three), along with a little comfort food, it won't be as difficult to keep moving, keep working.  And I'll also keep dreaming of warmer temperatures...and the beach.

Goat Cheese Stuffed Meatloaf

(Serves 6)

Inspired by a sushi roll.  By rolling the ground meat around  layer of goat cheese like a jelly roll, the cheese is layered into the centre of the meatloaf.

Ingredients

• 1 lb. ground beef (500g)
• ½ cup breadcrumbs
• 1 egg
• ¼ cup chopped onion
• 1 tbsp. worchestershire sauce
• ½ tsp. sea salt
• 1 tbsp. Dijon mustard
• 1 pkg. (100g) goat cheese round, plain (I used herbed)
• 1 tbsp. butter, softened
• 2 tbsp. ketchup or tomato paste

Preparation

• Preheat oven to 350degrees.  Prepare a 9x5 loaf pan (I used my stoneware pan).
• Mix all the ingredients except for the last three above, and pat the meat mixture into a rectangle (about 10” square) on a piece of plastic wrap or aluminum foil.
• One the side, prepare goat cheese.  Put into a small bowl and mix with 1 tbsp of butter until a smooth paste. 
• Spread the coat cheese mixture across the top of the meat in a neat stripe. (about 3” from the top.
• Roll like a giant sushi roll .  Gently place in loaf pan.  Mix butter and ketchup or tomato paste together and spread a thin layer on the top of the loaf. 
• Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour until done

Enjoy.

being rich

I've been thinking a lot lately, about what it means to be rich.  It is an age old question...does money buy happiness?

As adults, we connect wealth with social status.  I believe that having money to pay the bills to maintain a balanced, quality of life equates more to peace of mind, not "being rich".  This in turn, alleviates any financial burden which then potentially leads to happiness.  And I stress the word, potentially.

Although children in general have a skewed idea of exactly what "rich" is ("Mom, I got $10 for my birthday...I'm rich!"), I love that purely innocent look they have when they begin to realize the potential of what that money can bring...not just to themselves, but to others as well.

Unlike adults, to kids, money is not about control.  It's not about being part of the "haves" and "have-nots".  It's really about the potential of all the sugary (or battery operated) glory of consuming candy or playing with new toys.  It's that pure feeling of anticipation of revealing what's inside the wrapper.  Sometimes it's that feeling of being able to share that jackpot with friends, as I witnessed during a recent school field trip when my son's classmate, with the biggest smile I've ever seen, bought candy to share with all the kids in our small group.  I think that child felt richer than any other kid that day.

Maybe being "rich" is not about the dollar value of money, but the emotional value it brings, when it is used unselfishly.  I stumbled upon Alfred Nobel's will, and was absolutely astonished with the kind of inspiration it instills. A very wealthy man himself (it was estimated that he would be worth $265 million today), he used his money for the betterment of society.

"...my executors, shall constitute a fund, the interest on which shall be annually 

distributed in the form of prizes to those who, during the preceding year, 

shall have conferred the greatest benefit to mankind."  {source}

I guess it doesn't take a lot of dough to be happy...as long as it's just treated as an ingredient to make even one person feel better.  And like this shortbread, sometimes all you really need are a few ingredients to be rich.  

Simple Shortbread

Ingredients:

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup butter
• 1/2 cup icing sugar

Directions:

• Preheat the oven at 300 degrees.
• Mix all three ingredients in a bowl until it resembles a crumb mixture.
• Form a ball and then press firmly into an ungreased 8x8 inch pan
• Score the entire surface into squares then pierce each square with a fork (through to the bottom of the pan).
• Bake for 50 minutes or until the edges start to golden.
• Cut along scored edges, while warm into 25 squares.

Enjoy this rich tasting shortbread!

get moving. be still. eat cake.

Last week, as we enjoyed above seasonal temperatures, that magical feeling of giving (and receiving) that we enjoyed during the holidays seems to have melted away with the snow.  It is now that time of year to get going...get in shape, make good with all the resolutions...just get moving.

I guess all this busyness helps us fight the winter blues as we settle into another year of promises, hope and dreams.  I actioned on my list of things to do, and began the year reorganizing closets.  Purged all the old to make room for the new. I know many people who have taken action on their resolutions of getting fit.  Fitness gyms have been bustling with business in the past few weeks. Get active!  Get exercising! Get moving!

There has been a lot of talk lately about how we sit still for too long during the day, as noted in the Harvard Business Review's article,"Sitting Is the Smoking of Our Generation".  It's true...I often wonder if we are raising a generation of children who spend more time behind screens than participating in active physical activity.

As much as I agree that our bodies need more physical activity, conversely I also think our minds need to be more still.  Although we may not be physically moving, our minds are always racing...juggling the balance of our personal and work life, while multitasking both lives on our mobile phones.  And while we may be communicating with various people at the same time, are we really connecting?

As much as we're getting more active and enjoying the winter activities, I also think we need to balance that by teaching our kids how to sit still and resist all the "i-distractions".  In the long run, it will help them stay connected to what, and more importantly, who is in front of them. To actually have a conversation beyond 140 characters.

To me, nothing invites conversation more than sitting together for a good meal or even just a coffee/hot cocoa (and maybe a small slice of cake). And yes, I know this cake may seem to defeat the purpose of exercise, it isn't too sweet and it is dense enough to allow even just a small slice to satisfy.  But it's real purpose is to gather together and savour each bite while enjoying each other's company. And with our devices put away, we can have our cake...and eat it too.

Cherry Almond Pound Cake with White Chocolate Ganache Icing

(adapted from: Allrecipes.com)

Ingredients:

• 1 cup unsalted butter 
• 2 1/4 cups sugar
• 6 eggs
• 3 cups all purpose flour 
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/4 tsp. baking soda
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 1 tsp. almond extract
• 1/2 to 3/4 cup chopped cherries

White Chocolate Ganache

• 1 cup white chocolate chips
• 2 tbsp. butter or shortening

Gently melt and stir in microwave for about 1 minute, intermittently stirring to not burn.

Directions:

• Preheat the oven at 350 degrees.
• Grease bundt pan with shortening/flour.
• Cream butter with the sugar until it is light.
• Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each.
• Slowly add flour, salt and baking soda
• Add sour cream.
• Add almond extract.
• Gently fold in the chopped cherries.
• Place in bundt pan, and bake for 1 hour 20 minutes or until done.
• Cool for about 10 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool.
• Top with White Chocolate ganache

Enjoy your cake.

a blanket of snow

'My security blanket soaks up all my fears and frustrations'

~Linus, from the Charlie Brown movie, "Happiness is a Warm Blanket"~

My husband always told me that it is beautiful up at the cottage in the winter, and that one day we should try to ring in the New Year with a feast of snow crabs and lobster, then cuddle under cozy blankets, drinking hot chocolate in the snowy cottage in the woods.  Honestly, I'm not sure how much I really like snow. And there seems to be so many excuses obstacles that I made to avoid going to the cottage in the winter.  "There's two feet of snow!"  "We'll have to lug all that luggage, food and snowsuit-bundled children through this snow!"  "We have to drive two hours just to see more snow!"

So as the snowflakes fell on Boxing Day, as I was thinking about all the shovelling we had to do, I heard cheers of glee and bewilderment outside.  I peeked out of the window and in their backyard, I saw my new neighbours, who just moved to this country, playing and photographing each other in the snow.  It was their first time to ever see it. Snow.  I couldn't help but smile as I watched them (both Mom and kids) gingerly touch, smell and make shapes out of the white fluffy stuff.

The "Mom" of the house told me that she was so excited to shovel the snow (we'll see how long that excitement lasts...).  As she was taking endless phone pics of her children playing road/snow hockey on our driveway (to Facebook the photos back home to her friends), I realized we had more in common than I originally thought.

When we had them over for a hot cocoa and tea, she almost beamed as she told us about the 24 hour flight across the seas with 3 children, starting from scratch in a new home she barely saw on the internet, navigating this new country speaking her second language (her family attended international school, so they learned English back at home), with no vehicle (or drivers license), a spouse that travels for months between two countries, and how she missed her Mom and sister.  She said the only reason she moved to this country was for her kids.  There was no other reason. Because she too, wanted to create a life of beautiful memories for her children in this land of the free.

So I took her stories of all the obstacles and challenges she faced this past year as a new way to look at 2013. Although I don't make New Year resolutions, I do generally try to experience a new year with a new outlook or shall we say, "theme".  Last year the "theme" of the year was to "create memories".  Whenever I was at a crossroads, I would ask myself if the choice I made would create a lasting impression or memory.  And then take the road towards creating a beautiful one.

This year my theme is "do".  Even if it's difficult.  Especially if it is difficult.  Having an obstacle would give me even more of a reason to overcome it, because I believe the saying "good things don't come by easily" is very true.  It takes a lot of work. There will be struggles.  There will be frustrations.  I will be tired.  However, I will take the title as "parent" as my own security blanket...that no matter how worried, tentative or just plain exhausted I feel...I will use my role as this "security blanket" to soak up all the fears and frustrations, and "just do it for the kids".   Just do.

So on New Year's Eve, against my perceived "obstacles", we packed our bags on a last minute whim...and just drove.  We dealt with the snow, the luggage, the food and bundled up the kids.  We had our seafood feast, cuddled under cozy sleeping bags and enjoyed our snowy cottage in the woods.  It was an entirely new and amazing experience for us as a family.  And it just took a few hours for us to feel revitalized and renewed in our familial bond.  Although we didn't get to ski (our original plan) or party with friends (our usual plans), this "new" celebration made me feel like a kid again.  And through my children's eyes, I was able to experience the bewilderment of the season.

My husband was right.  It really is beautiful at the cottage during the winter.  And for the first time in a very long time, I truly enjoyed that blanket of snow.

o' christmas tree

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

How lovely are thy branches!

For every year the Christmas tree,

Brings to us all both joy and glee.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

Much pleasure dost thou bring me!

Wishing you and your family a very 

Merry Christmas 

&

Happy NewYear

DIY Christmas Trees

For those of you who are putting final touches to your Christmas decor, this is a quick and easy way to get the kids involved with a craft, and is something that is simple to do this weekend, just in time for a pretty display for Christmas next week.

Tools and Materials

• Cereal boxes
• Glue
• Tissue paper 
• gift ribbon (the curly ribbon kind)
• Scissors

Take the cereal box and cut it into a square shape.  Roll the box into a cone shape and hot glue together.  With one of the cones,  I hole punched throughout and wrapped with tissue. (to make the tree illuminate,  place a  battery operated tea light candle underneath).

Glue and wrap with tinsel, tissue paper, ribbon...whatever is pretty in the house.  (I've seen music sheets, twine, you name it!).

Oh Christmas tree...how lovely are thy branches.

See you in January 2013!!!

pop of colour

I've been hoping to make cake pops for a while, but there is something that sounds too complicated while I'm in "trying-to-uncomplicate-my-life" mode right now.  So, I found a great cheesecake on a stick recipe that basically uses frozen cheesecake, rolled in chocolate chips.

Since I make a pretty good cheese cake, I thought I could make this on my own, without the crust.  But again, while in "uncomplicated" mode, I was thinking of alternatives (other than buying store bought).

I stumbled upon a chocolate chip cheese ball recipe that sounded intriguing.  But what struck me was the reviews...one reviewer said it tasted like chocolate chip cheesecake.  Bingo!

Without having to bake, I made little cheese balls.  Then I dipped them in melted chocolate.  I made a few to look like Christmas ornaments by adding cheerios on the top.

I was originally going to add sprinkles to give these a pop of colour, but then I stuck to my plan to keep things simple (and less messy), so I just added the sticks, and then said...

"Nah...I think chocolate is colourful enough".

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Pops

Makes 12 cheesecake pops

(adapted from the "Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball" recipe found at Allrecipes)

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese,softened
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup confectioners or icing sugar
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips
• White chocolate or semi sweet chocolate, melted to dip.
• Lollypop sticks or popsicle sticks (found at craft or the baking section of your local store).

DIRECTIONS:

• In a medium bowl, beat together cream cheese and butter until smooth. Mix in confectioners' sugar, brown sugar and vanilla. Stir in mini chocolate chips. Cover, and chill in the refrigerator for 2 hours.
• Using spoons, a melon scoop or a small ice cream scoop, create little balls. Place on wax paper.
• In the meantime, melt chocolate until it becomes a sauce (I melted them gently in the microwave on a lower heat).
• Roll the cheese ball in melted chocolate.  Do this quickly, as the cheesecake will melt.  
• Place on wax paper (add stick if making cake pops). 
• Refrigerate until the chocolate has hardened.  You can decorate by piping frosting or more melted chocolate onto the cheesecake pop.  

Keep refrigerated until ready to serve.  The pop them into your mouth.

Enjoy!

i am grateful

Sending my kids to school felt very different this morning.  

{But I am grateful that I can do this today}

This morning, I didn't stress to get the kids to school on time.  It briefly crossed my mind to just keep them home with me today. Just so I can hold them.  But they are unaware of what this morning feels to me, so they went to school as normal.  I did however, look down the halls a bit more carefully as I watched them enter their classrooms.  We can not be afraid.  We shouldn't. And although that feeling will disappear as we go back to dealing with all the cries of frustration about busy traffic, kids arguing in the backseat, and being late for school (again!), sometimes I need to remind myself to sit back and look at the big picture, and not worry about being late.  Because those are cries that twenty families wish they were having instead of the tears they have today.

The parenting struggle feels different now.  

{But I am grateful that I can do this today}

Before last Friday, when I wrote about the gift of kindness, I talked about the parenting struggle of teaching kindness and good will, while at the same time, teaching caution (and maybe a little mistrust?) in a world that sometimes isn't so kind.  Like many parents, in order to cope with anxieties derived from tragedies, we would always say "those kind of incidents could never happen to us", reasoning that children are rarely the target.  I need to keep saying "it won't happen to us".  I NEED to say it for my children, even if a part of me isn't quite so sure anymore.  I need to say it, despite knowing that twenty families will never be able to say "it won't happen to us".

Fussing over the little details have a different meaning now.

{But I am grateful that I can do this today}

Sometimes it's the little things that take up a lot of time.  And I've been told I fuss too much over the little things...like making sure the cookies are the same size so there is no argument over who's cookie is bigger when the kids decorate it.  Or when I painstakingly go over each Christmas gift to ensure they look "equal".  But as small as these details may seem to adults, I know that some details mean the world to my kids.  And for me, it's just another small way for my children to know that I love both of them. Equally. That nothing is insignificant, and every minute I spend fussing is for them.  And I notice all of their little details too. Their smile.  The way they breathe while they sleep. Their tears.  I will continue to do the little things that make a big difference to them...that make them feel special.  Every day.  Although I still need to attach those evenly sized ribbons to each of their Christmas gifts, I will remember that there will be twenty little gifts unopened this year.

Spending time with my family will be different now.

{But I am grateful I can do this today}

I will, more than ever, try to take the kids to see and explore our beautiful world.  To attempt that "bucket" list of things like surf in Hawaii, or visit the Great Wall of China.  Or just to spend more time doing the small but meaningful things over the Christmas holidays.  Like decorating gingerbread cookies together.  Reading books with flashlights under bed sheet tents.  Or just drinking cocoa while we watch our annual Christmas movie together.  I want to create so many more, beautiful memories.  Because twenty families will have a different memory for Christmas this year.

 “These 20 children lit up this community better than all the Christmas lights we have.”
And with a gentle nod upward, he added, “There are 20 brighter stars in the heavens.”
(Monsignor Robert Weiss, pastor of St. Rose of Lima Catholic Church, in Newtown, Connecticut) 

{source}

And I will forever be grateful, that my bright stars are here on Earth with me today.